We have all heard that it is beneficial to have a “to do list.” Have you given much thought about a “stop to do list?” Most people probably want to be happy and do the things that move them in that direction. There are also many things that we do, that dis-empower us on a daily basis. Now this might be different for different people. The following 10 things to stop doing are pretty universal.
1. Stop being negative.
Have you ever met somebody that is always moaning about how bad everything is? How much fun are they to be around? Not much right. I am not saying that you have to be super positive each day. We all have a down day. The important thing is that you get over it and move on.
You get what you focus on. When you keep focusing on the negative, you create more negativity in your life. You start seeing the negative in everything and draw more negative people in to your life. More than that, you also start pushing other people away as you become that person that nobody likes to be around.
2. Stop worrying about everything.
“My life has been full of terrible misfortunes most of which never happened.” – Montaigne
We have this wonderful brain and imagination. Then instead of creating the things we want in life, many people worry and get anxiety about all sorts of things.
Let’s use exam anxiety as an example. I am not saying that everything will always work out exactly as you want it too. However if you put in the effort and do your part, then things will typically have a good outcome. If you don’t do any studying and don’t know your subject, then you will probably get a bad result. So doing your bit will give you the best chance of achieving success. The worrying simply causes you to stress unnecessarily and puts you in a negative space to start with. So why worry?
3. Stop Wasting time in front of the TV.
I am not saying never watch TV. My daughters and I love watching the odd survival show. The problem is that many people spend 4 hours plus per day watching TV. Over a 80 year life span, that is more than 10 years of your life spent in front of the box.
If we consider that Malcolm Gladwell said in his book “Outliers,” that it takes around 10,000 hours of practice to become a master in one’s field. It is a slight over simplification, but the idea behind it has great meaning. So instead of watching so much TV, one could rather master some skill set that actually benefits you.
Most of what is on TV is all about desensitizing people and trying to sell you of the next big thing, next shiny gadget and how your life is not as great as it could be. We need to start appreciating more what we have more so that we can better appreciate what is to come.
4. Stop Procrastinating.
It reminds me of the joke, “If you asked your husband to do something, then it is not necessary to remind him every 6 months.” How many people do you know that say they are going to do something and don’t ever do it. Or they wait until the very last moment before they get to it. Creating pressure on themselves. Most often whatever you put off won’t go away; it stays there and becomes like a weight around your neck. Stop hiding from responsibilities and do them straight away were possible.
Stop procrastinating and eat your frog first thing in the morning. Meaning that if you do what you don’t like doing first thing in the morning, then the rest of the day can only get better. Get it over and done with and you will feel much better for it.
5. Stop Eating Rubbish.
Besides the fact that eating take a way is a big waste of money, it is mostly not healthy either. “Fast food makes you sick quick.” Fast food will help you put on loads of weight, make you feel uncomfortable, costs loads of money and could even create a unhealthy life style.
Some people believe they don’t have time to prepare food and that is why they take out so much. Better time management can assist with this problem. There are many meals you can cook for the week ahead and freeze in smaller portions. Remember that you are what you eat. Many illnesses and diseases can be prevented by eating correctly.
6. Stop wasting money.
This ties in with take a ways, eating out, general over spending and trying to keep up with the Jones’s. I have met a number of people who spend more money each month than they have coming in. That is a recipe for disaster. Most businesses fail within the first 2-3 years, because they don’t have enough cash. The same is true for households.
The more debt you make, the more interest you pay. Eventually you find yourself in a position where you are struggling to just pay the interest. Credit has historically been easy to get. As the saying goes, “If you like, charge it.” Just add it to the credit card and pay it off. That won’t be so bad if you paid that credit card off each month. If you had £10,000 credit card debt (at 18% annual rate) and paid the minimum amount each month, it would take you around 24 years to pay it off. That assumes you don’t add additional debt to the credit card.
There is good advice in what previous generations said. “If you can’t buy it cash, then don’t buy it.” Of course there are certain things that one normally buys on debt, example a house or car. For other things, cash is king.
7. Stop saying yes.
Do you ever feel that there is just not enough time in the day? That you are living to please everybody else? Stop feeling obligated to be available to help everybody else. It is not a sign of weakness if you can’t be there for everybody. Stop putting yourself under pressure and learn how to say “No.” Know your limitations and learn that it is also OK for you to ask for help.
Also learn how to say no to your smart phone. Have you noticed how people now expect a reply to emails and messages instantaneously? Or you see a post on Facebook and you feel compelled to reply straight away. Some people actually even feel lost when they don’t have their phone with them.
In some instances we were much better off and more peaceful before smart phones. Learn to take care of yourself and start putting yourself first. It is not a sin.
8. Stop hiding from your problems.
Often people try to hide from the challenging things in their lives. Face your problems head on. Deal with what needs dealing with. Ask for help where you need to. This will help to take a lot of stress away in the long run.
Whether it is in our business and personal lives, we all have challenges from time to time. It is a natural human experience. It is through dealing with our challenges that we grow and in doing so, those things become less challenging in the future. Remember that you are worth much more than you give yourself credit for.
9. Stop holding on to the past.
Whether it is an old relationship that has ended or somebody that did you wrong. All too often people make themselves sick as they keep living on the past and fail to move forward. Yes, sometimes things get tough and don’t work out the way we want. Learn what you need to learn from the experience and move on. What is in the past is in the past. Leave it there.
10. Stop fearing mistakes.
One of the presuppositions of NLP is “There is no failure, only feedback.” There are times in our lives that you may not succeed at something. All too often people see it as failure and then get caught up in bad feelings. Take it as feedback, learn from it and see how you can do things differently next time.
If you keep fearing making a mistake, then you will miss out on many wonderful experiences you would have had, but were too scared to take. Remember that you are not your mistakes. They are simply a moment in time and as we know, time will pass. Leave the mistakes in the past and bring the learning’s with you. “Rather regret what you have done, then what you haven’t done.”
Will these 10 things to stop doing make you happier?
Ultimately being happy is totally up to each person. It is a choice. Nothing and nobody can make you happy or unhappy. Yes you can face challenges, but the choice of happiness is always yours.
If you need any help with any of the things above, please feel free to contact us. We are always happy to help.
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