This guest article was written by Bonita Grobbelaar. A successful dating coach, with a passion to help people find love.
More people are turning to a dating coach to help them find love. If you have ever totally dismissed the idea, you may want to think again. Single can be fun, for a while. At the core, humans have a basic need for connection. It’s an important component to living a fulfilled and happy life. As a society we are more connected on a superficial level but we are also becoming more socially awkward.
Single men and woman are out there in the hopes of forming a meaningful connection. Yet many of them lack the skills to create such a connection. There’s this parity of choice out there and this should be a good thing, but it’s making dating harder. These choices lead to indecisiveness. Singles are dating with a proverbial ‘foot in the door’ just in case the next one is a little smarter, wealthier, funnier or more attractive.
So what do you do? You try harder. Your reasoning: You’re accomplished in all other areas of your life because you have worked at it. You think that being dedicated and putting in more effort is going to turn things around. Unfortunately this is the one area of your life where doing what you’ve been doing isn’t going to work for you. Working harder at dating and going on more dates only leads to further disappointment and anxiousness about spending the rest of your life alone.
Why have a Dating Coach?
If you want a loving and lasting relationship with an amazing partner you need to stop and take a step back. A reputable dating coach can help you to find Mr. or Mrs Right. It sounds questionable at first. I mean, who does that right?
As with everything else, the more you know about a particular subject, the better you are at it. It stands to reason that if you are skilled in the art of identifying a quality partner, building a meaningful connection when it matters and activating attraction; that you would do a lot better than you are right now. In fact, you would have loads of choice in your love life wouldn’t you?
Beware of a bad dating coach
There is a stigma attached to the dating coach profession, mainly because of an unregulated industry. Methods vary widely, including strategies like telling you how to look and what pickup lines to use. Some dating and relationship coaches even role play dates with their clients. Or they attend social events acting as a wing-man or wing-woman. Does this sound like a really bad idea to you as well?
Be careful what relationship advice you follow. The amount of downright bad dating and relationship advice out there is astounding. Beware of taking dating and relationship advice from anyone other than a seasoned professional with a good track record.
A bad dating coach focuses on surface level issues like physical features, the clothes you wear, your weight, etc. Agreed, you need to look and feel your best to date successfully, however it is not the starting point. Especially if you want to change the outcome of your love life for good. When we refer back to the true definition of a coach, these methods should rather be called ‘Date Training.’
Acting in a way that fundamentally isn’t who you are means that you are faking it, until you make it. This becomes problematic later on in a relationship when faking who you are isn’t going to be such an easy task. Besides, who wants to be with somebody who is fake?
5 Ways a dating coach can help
Changing Belief Systems
Choose a dating coach that both trains you on surface level issues, as well as works with you on a deeper level. At the core of every dating and relationship problem are a set of beliefs in the area of dating, relationships and the opposite sex. These beliefs impact your decision-making process and behaviour. It is important to understand various areas of a relationship and what your beliefs are towards them.
An effective dating coach asks quality questions that help you to understand what you are thinking at a core level and why you think this way. They facilitate an environment for you to change unproductive beliefs. Changing a belief system means changing the way you interact with the world around you. Changing the way you act (i.e. doing things differently) means a different outcome for your love life.
Internationally Recognized Methodologies
A great dating coach uses internationally recognized coaching models and methodologies. They will not seek to change who you are, but rather help you follow a process of becoming more of who you were before life stepped in and you adapted to your circumstances. You changed the best way you could, with the tools you had available to you then. Now you can have new tools that have you feel and be more empowered.
Proven Track Record
A reputable dating coach has a good track record of positively changing the lives of their clientele. They should have no problem discussing their success rate in meeting their clients dating and relationship goals. They should themselves be in a successful, committed and fulfilling relationship and living what they preach.
Transparency & Motivation
An honest dating coach tells you like it is. They will help you take responsibility by understanding that you are the common denominator in all your relationship woes. They will also inspire you to move forward, motivated to make a positive change once and for all. The outcome of the dating coaching experience is of course 100% your responsibility. Clients who succeed have the courage to choose a better love life for themselves and stop shifting the blame to external circumstances.
About Dating Coach Bonita
Previous clients include:
Women nearing their 40’s, having lost all hope of finding a life partner and starting a family of their own. Only to be engaged 9 months later.
Adult males who had never experienced a committed relationship and had lost all hope of ever being intimate with a woman. Only to find themselves in a committed relationship with an amazing partner four dating coaching sessions later.
It really doesn’t matter how impossible your situation seems to you right now. Whatever you want to achieve in your love life; if you can visualize it, we can do it.
If you would like to find out more about dating coaching, simply contact Bonita via her website at www.lovecoachbonita.com